Garden. Take 3.

As I may have mentioned (I think), Matt and I purchased our first "real" home back in December. I say "real" because we also own a condo that we've decided doesn't count because it was...lame. So now, we have a yard! And, in celebration of said yard, I decided it would be an awesome idea to start a garden. Not only would we save a few bucks on groceries every month, but we would also have less food crammed in our fridge going bad since the boys only eat veggies if I hide them in the food. Also, gardens are fantastic to have for the zombie apocalypse. You have to have a certain level of self sufficiency in order to survive.

Back to the garden. Our backyard was a mess. A HUGE mess. It looked as if no one had even been in it in years. There were probably a good 7-8 different types of large bushes/trees, not to mention an about 2 foot thick layer of decaying leaves. I really wish we had taken more "before" photos because the afters would look SO much more impressive. There were two sets of raised flower beds: A large one that ran along the back fence, and 2 smaller  ones that ran along the sides of the yard and across the front of the large bed. That seemed a bit redundant to me so, we cut them down a bit and use part of the back bed for the garden.
This is what we had to work with.

Imagine the mess to the right of the screen only covering the entire back and side of the yard. 

The most logical plan of action was to just rip everything out. So, that's what we did. Or I guess I should say that's what I did because, contrary to popular belief, the men were terrible at all things yard related. It took pretty much forever but eventually we I cleared all but 3 trees and removed the small flower bed than ran across the front of the larger one (you can kind of see it, the wavy brick line, to the right of the picture). In Because we have two large dogs it was decided that low maintenance was the way to go so, instead of flowers in the flower beds, we put mulch. Lots and lots of mulch. FINALLY, it was time to deal with the whole garden thing. I called dibs on my corner and laid down some legit Lowe's soil. First to go in were our fruit trees; a lemon and an orange. Then we played the waiting game. Matt purchased one of those garden starter kits that you plant and sprout inside. We thought it was a fantastic idea!

It really wasn't. The seeds actually did really well. Within in couple weeks we had some pretty impressive little plants. So impressive, in fact, that our cat Whitey decided he need to make sure they were safe for human kitty consumption. He ate the tops off of pretty much everything. They were now sad, sad little plants. But, we persevered! We took those sad, sad little plants and transferred them to my new fenced little garden and, surprisingly, a lot of them actually continued to grow. I was pretty thrilled, mainly because I generally kill everything, always. I inherited my mom's black thumb. Funny side story: My mom killed a fake plastic tree.

It wasn't much but it was something and I was proud of myself!  =p

It was a happy little garden until, one fateful and stormy night.... This happened...

Really? REALLY!?! Stupid tree.

At this point, I had given up. I mean, it's pretty obvious that I am not supposed to have a garden. If this means I have to raise cattle and chickens in my backyard in order to survive the zombies then so be it! I mean, technically there is some sort of rule in our neighborhood that forbids having barnyard animals in your back yard, but I figure that once they all turn to zombies the enforcers of said rules probably won't care as much. I mean, you would assume that, being undead and all, zombie would be a bit more lenient in regards to the rules of local home owner's associations. 

Sorry, sidetracked again. Anyways, I thought I had given up gardening. I mean, obviously the fruit and vegetable gods were opposed to my success so why bother trying again? Well, after my near death experience with kidney stones this weekend I came to the decision that I needed to be productive, so I tried again. I attempted to fix what remained of my smashed little white fence and transplanted my lemon tree to the other side of the plot. Then, I went all in. I used all of the seeds we had left and, being the creative genius that I am, made little markers out of a few of the million of rocks we have lying around the property. So, with any luck, in a few short weeks we will start to see the growth of some pretty little (eventually edible) plants! I will let you know if it's possible to turn a black thumb green. I know you will be impatiently awaiting an update!

My mangled little fence and dying lemon tree.

And, I still am completely unaware of how to make these pictures stay right side up.  =(

My rant of the day.

This is going to be my first ever "Rant of the Day." And possibly the best because it will be written while I'm under the influence of Percocet. For those of you who aren't away Percocet is a combination of acetaminophen and oxycodone. In other words a pretty strong pain killer. Especially for someone like me who is 5'2" and 110 pounds. One tablet knocks me out pretty good. You may be wondering why I am on this particular medication. Well I've got two words for you: Kidney stones. To explain in a few more words: Worst.Pain.Ever.

Let's take a trip back, shall we? I had my first experience with kidney stones on June 8th, 2011. You might be wondering why in the world I remember the exact date. Well, it was 3 days before Matt and I got married. Can you say worse timing ever? I was knee deep in bubble favors, ribbon, flowers and tulle when I started having terrible lower back pain. This isn't unusual as I was in a car accident many years ago so I popped a couple Advil and went along my merry way. Next thing I knew I was buckled over on the bathroom floor, covered in sweat and writhing in pain. The pain was so unbearable that I became sick to my stomach (I will spare you from the ugly details). Morgan, my then 14 week old puppy, was positive that licking my face and sitting on me would help, but he was wrong. When my husband arrived home I asked him to take me to the hospital and he, thinking that I was overreacting, hesitated but eventually agreed.

At this point I was pretty positive my back wasn't the problem so, when the emergency room staff asked what was wrong I told them that I was pretty positive something was wrong with my kidney. Being the ghetto ultra-efficient facility that they were I was sent to the waiting room where... I waited. And waited. And waited some more. I wasn't given any pain medication, or even anything for my nausea. Finally, after almost 2 hours I was able to see a doctor! Color me THRILLED! They set me up in my room and took all of my vitals. My heart rate was up, as well as my blood pressure. I had a fever of almost 104 and I was majorly dehydrated. Pretty much felt like I was dying. They loaded me up with pain killers, and hooked me up to an IV and told me that they were going to send me in for a CAT scan to check out my kidneys because (possible a too much information fact, but impressive nonetheless) my urine analysis came back as 10% blood. That's bad for those of you who don't know.

Then, I waited. And waited. And waited some more! It really was a thrilling night. Turns out they forgot about me. The tech that was supposed to come in and run my tests had gone to lunch, or gotten lost, or something. I really don't know, I was pretty drugged up by this time. Needless to say, the long awaited CAT scan finally happen at about 2am (3 hours before I had to be at work!) and they found a few pretty nice sized stones. Large enough that I had to have an ultrasound to break them up because they wouldn't take care of themselves. After all of this, and 4 IV bags, I was finally sent home with a few prescriptions and a list of awesome stuff that I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anymore.

If you have never had a kidney stone, or don't know someone that has, let me tell you I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I've dealt with a lot of pain in my life. Broken bones, torn ligaments, concussions, dislocations... you name it. Nothing even comes close to the pain of a kidney stone. I have been told by many that it is worth than child birth and at this point, I believe it.

So here I sit, drugged up and still in pain. Trying to get my mind off of it by watching Maury and one of his many paternity test episodes. The boys are not thrilled that they don't get to go to the dog park. In fact Morgan has been sitting here looking at me like this for nearly a half hour...

So, I will leave you here. Mainly because I'm about to pass out. If you're lucky you will never have to experience this affliction. In short, it sucks. But if  you do or have, I hope that this makes you feel a little less alone in the world.   =)


Here's a photo of me on drugs. Peace out.

Mmmm.... soup.

It's going to be a long week. Like, a really long week. I'm looking at 15+ hour days once you combine school, work and homework/projects. I'm definitely not looking forward to it, and I'm also not looking forward to trusting the boys to cook. And I am NOT willing to order pizza and eat hot dogs every night. I'm so very much over my poor college student days. You see, I live with pretty much all men. My husband, of course, a male roommate, 2 male dogs and a male cat. It's them against me and my pretty girl cat. Needless to say we're outnumbered. Granted the pets don't really have a say in what we eat for dinner...

I am not a food snob. I prefer real food that has to be, you know, cooked. Prepared. Not necessarily ridiculously healthy, but it has to have substance. A hot dog on a bun with ketchup does not count as a meat, a starch, and a vegetable in my book. Besides, tomatoes are a fruit.

So, tonight being my early evening, I decided to prep one of my go-to, last me most of the week, pretty much delicious meals. For those of you who have been to Olive Garden, you've probably tried their Zuppa Toscana. And, if you haven't, you're a terrible person. It's amazing. A few years back I found a basic recipe online for this soup and (like with everything I cook) I tweaked it to my liking. It is delicious, hearty and impossible to get bored of. Pair this with some breadsticks and you've got yourself a mouth watering meal!

So here's the recipe. I apologize for the lack of photos. I have 3 cameras (with multiple batteries) and it turns out all of them were pretty dead. It was very disappointing. I guess I'll just have to paint a picture with my words!   ;)

Not from the most recent batch, but soup nonetheless.

  Prep time: 10-15 minutes
Cook time: 45-50 minutes 

What you'll need:

• 1 1/2 lb ground Italian sausage
• 6 slices of bacon
• 1½ tsp crushed red peppers
• ¼ of a bunch of kale
• 1 large sized diced white onion
• 1 1/2 lb sliced potatoes,  about 4-5 large potatoes
• 1 tbs garlic puree
• 4 cups water
• 6 cups of chicken broth
• 1 cup heavy cream

 A little explanation:



Now, the original recipe called for less Italian sausage (1lb) and bacon (4 tbs, how is that enough???) but I'm a bit of a carnivore so I always add more. It also called for 10 cups of water and 5 chicken bouillon cubs. I figured that one sort of dumb so I just add straight chicken broth. Actually, if you want to mix it up a little you can add 1/2 chicken broth and 1/2 beef broth. It gives it a bit of a different flavor. Also, because I'm unhealthy like that, I add an extra potato or two. What can I say, I like hearty soups with a lot of stuff in them. I guess it's more like a stew in this case... Whatever. 

On to the cooking!:

1. In a large stock pot cook up the Italian sausage and the red pepper until all the pinkish color is gone from the sausage. Pretty much like browning hamburger meat. Strain out all of the fat and place the mixture aside while you prep the rest of the soup. It's going to be a little bit until you add the sausage so I recommend just tossing it in the fridge.
2. Now, using the same stock pot, cook up with bacon with the onions and garlic on a medium heat. Once the onions are soft and beginning to look translucent you should be good to go. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.
3. Leave the previous mixture in the stock pot and add the chicken broth and and water. Bring this to a boil.
4. Then add the potatoes and cook, almost boiling, until they are soft. Like you would making mashed potatoes if you happen to be familiar. Generally this step will take 30 minutes of so.
5. Once the potatoes are soft add the heavy cream and heat the soup back to boiling.
6. Lastly, toss in your sausage mixture and the kale and heat until everything is at the desired temperature. It usually takes me about 10 minutes to get it back up to where I like it, granted I like my food HOT.
7. Eat your soup! Easy enough, right? If you want to be fancy you can grate some parmesan on top.  =)

 And, because I don't have a legitimate picture of the soup, I leave you with a picture of something equally impressive... My puppies all pretty and clean after their baths!

On a serious note.

And believe me when I say that my serious moments are few and far between. Especially the ones that are shown in public. But today I was thrown in the middle of a situation that I am all to familiar with. It hit really close to home and I felt compelled to put this out there in the hopes that it might help someone, somewhere.

When I was a freshman in high school I started dating this guy (let's refer to him as Jerkoff) that was a few years older than me, a senior, and literally the sweetest guy ever. He had that innocent, shy kind of personality that most 18 year old guys have long outgrown. We went to church together, met each others' families, talked for hours on the phone; you know, all of that puppy love stuff. I was in "love". Looking back, I realize that I had no idea what love was. I was an awkward 14 year old who was thrilled to be pursued by an older guy. Deep down I think I realized that something was wrong but I was too naive to accept it.

After a few months it was like a switch was flipped in him. I was a football player and a wrestler so, obviously, I hung out with a lot of guys. Initially this wasn't an issue bu eventually he started getting insanely jealous. He became controlling and possessive. I was told that I wasn't allowed to hang out with any of my male friends. I had to call him each night so he could be sure that I had "gotten home safe". He forbid me from wearing what he considered revealing clothing.  He said he did it because he loved me, was afraid of losing me, and wanted to keep me safe. And I believed him.

Then one night I was supposed to meet him at his house. He wasn't home yet, so I decided to watch some TV with his brother while I was waiting.  When Jerkoff arrived home his brother and I were sitting on opposite sides of the couch. Jerkoff lost it. He started yelling. We argued. I left the house to go home and he followed me. We argued some more, and before I knew it I was pinned up against a fence with his hand around my neck. Literally all the way around; I was 4'11" and he was 6'2". His brother saw what was happening and came out and pulled him off of me and I ran. I went home and went straight to bed, shaking and sobbing. 

I didn't say anything to anybody. I pretty much acted as if nothing had happened. I hid the bruises and avoided my friends and family. The next day he called me. He apologized, told me he loved me and that it would never happen again. He was just scared that I was going to leave him and he didn't know how to deal with that. And, again, I believed him. 

 Well, guess what; It did happen again.  It happened a lot, and got worse and worse each and every time.  And every time he was sorry. He apologized. He cried. He begged me to forgive him. And I did.

Then, one night I headed to his house after catching a movie with some male teammates. He asked me where I had been and I was honest (How dare I!?). He threw me down. I got up. He back handed me, multiple times, and I finally had had enough. So I hit him back. I punched him in the face as hard as I could, adrenaline pumping like crazy. I broke his nose, told him I never wanted to see him again and ran home. In all honesty, my bruises didn't even hurt. Hitting him felt so good that it overpowered every pain, every emotion that I had been battling.  

It was a terrible situation and the general reaction to my story is, "I'm so sorry that you went through that." But, you know what, I'm not sorry at all.  I can't deny it was awful. It scarred me for a long time and, to this day, I still flinch from time to time when a hand is raised around me. But overall it make me a stronger woman. It made me realize how much I'm really worth and that I deserve more than someone like Jerkoff. Controlling a person does not equal love. Apologies are worth nothing unless they go beyond words and show themselves in the person's actions. 

I was embarrassed to tell my family and my friends. To this day, there are some of them that have no idea what happened. But I wish I would have told them. I wish I would have had someone there to tell me that this wasn't my fault. I wasn't the one doing something wrong and I didn't deserve it. So I guess the moral of this story is if you, or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, don't just sit around and wait for the worst. Tell someone. Call the police. Do something, because you never know when the abuser will take it one step further. 

Sorry for the mood killer, but it had to be said. I promise most of my posts will be much happier than this. I leave you with some handy dandy websites:

http://www.thehotline.org/

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence/WO00044

http://www.domesticabuseproject.com/

Rest in peace Toshiba. Or pieces. Whatever.

Two years ago I decided it was time to treat myself. I had been living off of the computers on campus for ages and was getting pretty fed up with it. I hated waiting in line for an hour behind people who only wanted the computer to update their Facebook statuses. I hated being squished in between two people who continuously glanced over my shoulder to see what I was writing. And, most of all, I hated being stuck on campus until all hours of the night. 

That's a lot of hate. I know. 


So I caved. I purchased a new laptop! Of course, I had to splurge and buy an awesome Toshiba one. Oh man I was in love! I was able to do update Facebook do homework anywhere. On campus. At work. In bed while watching Family Guy reruns. You name it. 


A month passes and I decide it's time to become awesomer (it's a word, don't worry about it) and get a wireless mouse because those touch pad ones are absolutely terrible. So I take my USB adapter and.... wait.... there are no USB ports. Oh, there were holes for USB ports, but the ports themselves had somehow managed to get pushed back into the computer. I took it to my wonderful Geek Squad friends at work and even they couldn't fix it. Let alone actually open the computer up. Apparently Toshiba REALLY frowns on that.


It was all downhill from there. 


The USB ports were gone. Then my SD card reader went. Then the disc drive stopped working. Then it started making ridiculously loud clicky noises. Then the battery became pathetic. And then, this morning, the plug for the power has decided not to work.


Talk about disappointment. My nearly $1000 computer lasted me about 2 years. And now I'm forced back into the heart wrenching world of on-campus desktop computers. So, once I figure out how the heck to get all of my pictures and such off of it, I've decided I'm going to give it the death of a hero by, you know, throwing it off the roof or shooting it with my rifle or something. I'll let you know how that goes.


Talk about a first world problem....

And so it begins....

Initially I planned on writing some sort of introductory post. You know, something to let you know why I chose to start a blog, and what to expect from me. But, rather than bore you with all of that nonsense, I figure I'll leave you this evening with a "how to" on one of my favorite (so far) projects. In December my husband and I purchased a house, and being our first real home (we don't count the condo because it was terrible!) I figured that I should do the wifely thing and decorate. Mind you, I am NOT generally a girly person. I can't match my clothing to save my life. I know more about fixing cars than I do about applying makeup. But, budget wedding planning brought out the craftiness in me so I decided to try my hand at a split canvas wall display using the lyrics to our first dance song, "Amazed" by Lonestar (It was involved in our proposal. Maybe someday I'll embarrass my husband by posting the story.). 

Sadly, because of the terrible lighting in our living room, this is the best picture I could get.

I am done boring you with the details and leave you with my first "how to." I hope it is helpful!


What you need: 

Canvases - Preferably the wrapped ones rather than the flat. More expensive but they look better. I bought a pack of 10- 8"x10" canvases at Michael's, although I wanted to use 8"x8". The 8"x10" just ended up being cheaper because the pack was on sale for $14.95 rather than spending almost 3 times that for the 8x8 canvases. I ended up using 9 for my display but you can tweak that however you want. 

Modge Podge - I used the glossy kind, although the matte might look kind of nice as well...

Paint and paint brushes (at least2) - I used acrylic and it covered and stays on really well. You paint the edge of the canvas, or I guess you CAN paint it if you'd like. I used black, mainly because it's a very common color in my living room but it would look awesome with brighter colors too.

Card stock - Any color you want really. I used white because I'm boring like that but any (probably lighter) color will do.

Computer stuff - A computer, printer, ink, a photo editing program of some sort.

Um.... I think that's it. We'll find out. 

Step by Step:

I used photo shop to create at 30"x24" project because I was using my 8x10" canvases sides ways. So a 3 by 3 display would be 30 inches on top and 24 on the sides. Then I created a text box that covered the entire project. I found the lyrics online and double checked them for accuracy, then copy/pasted them into the text box. Next came the annoying part of figuring out what fonts I wanted to use. I ended up with 4 that I liked together (a scripty one, a block letter one, a hand writing style one and... something else) and alternated them line by line. I tried to make it so that the last line of the chorus was always the same font. It looked prettier that way. I also added a bit of extra spacing in between the letters to make the cropping easier. Then I just adjusted the font size until it filled the entire canvas.

Once all of the writing was in place I had to figure out how to breat my 30x24" into 9 8x10" projects. I'm somewhat Photoshop illiterate so I did this using my Microsoft photo editing program, the hard way. I used the ruler tool to determine where 8x10" was and then cropped the full image at that point. Then I saved it as it's own file. Then I figured out 16"x10, cropped it. Saved it. Etc. You get the point (if not, ask me!). I'm sure there is a MUCH easier way to do this, but I'm terrible, so yeah.

For some reason this auto-rotates when I insert it into the blog. So... lame. I hate computers.

Once everything was cropped and pretty. I printed it out on standard size cardstock, then cut it down to size. I found that using box cutter worked better than scissors. The easier thing I found was to use one of the canvases and trace to give you a cutting edge.

Then I (although maybe I should have done this first) painted the edges of all the of canvases I was going to use black. You don't really have to be careful because the front will be covered. I do recommend painting a 1/2 inch or so onto the front which will hide any cutting discrepancies. I ended up doing 2 coats of paint.

Once everything is dry you apply a layer of Modge Podge to the back of the card stock. For me, applying it to the back of the cardstock rather than directly to the canvas dried with less bubbles. It will NEVER be perfect. Mine aren't. I ripped the old cardstock off and redid it SO MANY TIMES and it was never without some bubbles. But once you get everything together you don't really notice.

After the layer between the canvas and cardstock dries then you brush on a layer of Modge Podge on the surface of the card stock. It let that dry and then did a second coat, but this is totally optional.

Once everything this dry, then display! Ta da!!! 

This is the final project. I ordered the wrapped canvas on either side of the display from EasyCanvasPrints.com (I highly recommend them.). They are 18"x24" and the quality was absolutely AMAZING. I had the sides colored black to match my small lyric canvases.

So there ya go! I promise it's not nearly as hard as it sounds. The most time consuming part (other than waiting for things to dry) was creating the lyric templates and that was mainly because I had no idea what I was doing. All in all the entire project took me maybe 3 hours, spread out over 2 nights. I wish you all good luck, and hopefully I'll be more diligent with this blog and return soon!

  I'll come up with a creative sign off later.

*~Miss D~*