My rant of the day.

This is going to be my first ever "Rant of the Day." And possibly the best because it will be written while I'm under the influence of Percocet. For those of you who aren't away Percocet is a combination of acetaminophen and oxycodone. In other words a pretty strong pain killer. Especially for someone like me who is 5'2" and 110 pounds. One tablet knocks me out pretty good. You may be wondering why I am on this particular medication. Well I've got two words for you: Kidney stones. To explain in a few more words: Worst.Pain.Ever.

Let's take a trip back, shall we? I had my first experience with kidney stones on June 8th, 2011. You might be wondering why in the world I remember the exact date. Well, it was 3 days before Matt and I got married. Can you say worse timing ever? I was knee deep in bubble favors, ribbon, flowers and tulle when I started having terrible lower back pain. This isn't unusual as I was in a car accident many years ago so I popped a couple Advil and went along my merry way. Next thing I knew I was buckled over on the bathroom floor, covered in sweat and writhing in pain. The pain was so unbearable that I became sick to my stomach (I will spare you from the ugly details). Morgan, my then 14 week old puppy, was positive that licking my face and sitting on me would help, but he was wrong. When my husband arrived home I asked him to take me to the hospital and he, thinking that I was overreacting, hesitated but eventually agreed.

At this point I was pretty positive my back wasn't the problem so, when the emergency room staff asked what was wrong I told them that I was pretty positive something was wrong with my kidney. Being the ghetto ultra-efficient facility that they were I was sent to the waiting room where... I waited. And waited. And waited some more. I wasn't given any pain medication, or even anything for my nausea. Finally, after almost 2 hours I was able to see a doctor! Color me THRILLED! They set me up in my room and took all of my vitals. My heart rate was up, as well as my blood pressure. I had a fever of almost 104 and I was majorly dehydrated. Pretty much felt like I was dying. They loaded me up with pain killers, and hooked me up to an IV and told me that they were going to send me in for a CAT scan to check out my kidneys because (possible a too much information fact, but impressive nonetheless) my urine analysis came back as 10% blood. That's bad for those of you who don't know.

Then, I waited. And waited. And waited some more! It really was a thrilling night. Turns out they forgot about me. The tech that was supposed to come in and run my tests had gone to lunch, or gotten lost, or something. I really don't know, I was pretty drugged up by this time. Needless to say, the long awaited CAT scan finally happen at about 2am (3 hours before I had to be at work!) and they found a few pretty nice sized stones. Large enough that I had to have an ultrasound to break them up because they wouldn't take care of themselves. After all of this, and 4 IV bags, I was finally sent home with a few prescriptions and a list of awesome stuff that I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anymore.

If you have never had a kidney stone, or don't know someone that has, let me tell you I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I've dealt with a lot of pain in my life. Broken bones, torn ligaments, concussions, dislocations... you name it. Nothing even comes close to the pain of a kidney stone. I have been told by many that it is worth than child birth and at this point, I believe it.

So here I sit, drugged up and still in pain. Trying to get my mind off of it by watching Maury and one of his many paternity test episodes. The boys are not thrilled that they don't get to go to the dog park. In fact Morgan has been sitting here looking at me like this for nearly a half hour...

So, I will leave you here. Mainly because I'm about to pass out. If you're lucky you will never have to experience this affliction. In short, it sucks. But if  you do or have, I hope that this makes you feel a little less alone in the world.   =)


Here's a photo of me on drugs. Peace out.